yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
