Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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