maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
