This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
