you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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