Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
