O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
