I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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