Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
