I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize