Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize