is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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