im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize