forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
