I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
