Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
