this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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