i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
