i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
