This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
