which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Houston, we have a squirter
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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