i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
