We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
