Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize