I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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