That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't trust your balls anymore.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize