we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
