Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
