so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
