I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
