is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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