Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
