Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
