you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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