yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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