I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
only if we run a train.
done.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
