Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
