just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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