Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
