you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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