I seem to have left my pride at pride
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
