I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
