Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
