your room smells of hookers.
And success
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
