3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
being pregnant is like rehab
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
