I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
