Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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