sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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