well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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