You really coming over, don't trick.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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