i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
