i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
