According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I smell like Dick and happiness
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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