The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want nice things and good sex
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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