Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
