At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
