She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
