She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
