Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
