LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
