Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
