dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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