I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
