I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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