Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
