NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I supernannyed him into submission
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
