So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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